


turning night right into day

by orphan_account



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Jack Kelly, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Getting Together, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First Work in This Fandom, Pining, Post-Canon, at 2 AM, gay crutchie, i can't write, i wrote this in one sitting, jackcrutchie - Freeform, really rushed, so it's not my fault it sucks, yeah katherine and jack broke up sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 21:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16072112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: just some cliche mutual pining. here, take it. this fandom needs more jackcrutchie





	turning night right into day

**Author's Note:**

> hey thanks for attempting to read this trainwreck

Crutchie felt a lot of things.

 

He felt pain, for example. He was very good at feeling pain. Between his stupid leg and his unfortunate situation in life, he was pretty used to pain. And the more he felt it, the easier it was to dismiss. The easier it was to dismiss, the more he began feeling other things. The pain was still there, of course, but he was good at opening his mind to other emotions.

 

Crutchie also felt happiness. He tried looking for happiness in small things, because he knew the small things were really all he had left. So he kept his eyes wide open, searching and searching. Sometimes he closed his eyes, but he knew that was okay too. When he closed his eyes, that’s when the dreams came to him. 

 

Crutchie also felt fear. Occasionally, there was fear in his dreams. Sometimes when he went to sleep, expecting to wake up in sunny Santa Fe, he’d wake up in the Refuge instead, and it would all come rushing back to him. The darkness, the tears, the constant throbbing of his leg. He knew he wouldn’t be able to let it go, not now, not ever, even though things had changed significantly since he’d been trapped and all his hope had been sucked out of him, save for a scrap of fake optimism. His optimism had been restored since then. But the memories were, and always would be, a part of him.

 

And sometimes, Crutchie felt a strange combination of all three. Pain, happiness, and fear.

 

It was an odd combination, that was for sure, and he didn’t really know what it meant. He’d noticed it on quite a few occasions but had never given it a name. A pang in his chest here, a tear pricking the back of his eye there- it wasn’t excruciating, but it was annoying. And most of all, it was mysterious. He’d spend hours at a time trying to make sense of his emotions. He never could.

 

The first time he’d noticed this strange feeling was almost a year ago. He remembered every little detail about that day, but there were a few that’d stuck out to him. He’d just been released from the Refuge when he’d first felt it, and he wasn’t sure whether he could blame his nearly traumatized brain for it, but he could have sworn he was blowing things out of proportion. He was taking in a lot more details than he usually did- details that shouldn’t have mattered to him. Like when he’d watched Jack and Katherine blissfully kiss each other after Jack had announced the strike’s official ending. Watching how joyful and in love his best friend was- that was the happiness. Wishing that it were him in Katherine’s place- that was the pain. And realizing that he felt that way? Without a doubt, that was the cold, irreversible fear.

 

The feeling had stayed with him for a very long time. Eventually he was able to push it aside on account that he had probably not been right in the head that day, and had still been overcoming the horrors of the Refuge. He knew he’d get his priorities back in order soon. He forgot about how everyone had always told him that feeling that way about a boy and wanting to be close to them like that was wrong, that it was bad if the thoughts stayed in his head. He knew it wasn’t his fault, though. He couldn’t control what he felt. So what if Crutchie felt weird feelings whenever Jack smiled at him, or when he watched Jack draw and poke his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, or when Crutchie leaned into Jack as Jack put his arm around Crutchie, and they’d watch the sunset together from their rooftop, exhausted and glad to be together?

 

Long story short, the feelings Crutchie felt ended up sticking around a lot longer than he’d hoped. They quickly became the bane of his existence. They drove him crazy. And they terrified him. Why were these his priorities? What would Jack do if he found out what Crutchie was feeling about him? 

 

But at the same time… Crutchie figured he might as well die if he had to go on bearing his silent burden any longer.

 

So on one particularly frustrating night, after tossing and turning for an hour, he made a decision, sat up, and scooted over to where Jack was sleeping. Crutchie was mesmerized for a moment by the peaceful rising and falling of the other boy’s chest and slight smile on the other boy’s face. He snapped himself out of his trance with a silent curse.  _ Dang it, Crutchie, you idiot, you’ve got it bad. _

 

Hesitantly he reached forward and shook Jack’s shoulder slightly. He hoped Jack wouldn’t be grumpy at being woken up. If he wasn’t grumpy then, he’d certainly be grumpy after Crutchie revealed his… “immoral” emotions.

 

“Jack? Jack,” Crutchie whispered. “It’s me. Crutchie. I gotta talk to you about somethin’. Won’t be long, I promise- I’ll be quick, and then you can be gettin’ back to sleep.”

 

A low growl arose from Jack’s sleeping body before he stirred, sitting up slowly and rubbing at his eyes, causing Crutchie to retract his hand from Jack’s shoulder sharply. “Crutchie? It’s the middle of the dang night, what are you doin’ up at this hour? We still gotta get up and sell the papes tomorrow.”

 

“I know. There was just somethin’ buggin me, Jack, I-”

 

“Buggin’ ya?” Jack’s eyes opened fully, and he looked at Crutchie with green eyes that shone in the streetlight. “What on earth’s buggin you at this hour? Can’t you wait ‘til morning?”

 

Crutchie hesitated- there was no way his problem was big enough for Jack too want to listen to in the middle of the night. Maybe this was a bad idea. “Sorry, I’ll go back to sleep.”

 

“Wait.” Jack seemed to be having a realization that made him about fifty percent more alert, and he shot out a hand to rest on Crutchie’s knee with obvious alarm..  “You weren't havin’ another nightmare ‘bout the Refuge, were you? It may be late, but if I gotta go find the spider and beat him up again, I won’t-”

 

“No- no, Jack, it ain’t nothin’ like that. It’s- it’s really stupid, actually. It doesn’t matter.” Crutchie shook his head. This whole thing was such a bad idea, why didn’t he just stay in bed?

 

Jack merely raised his eyebrows at this. “Now I’m intrigued. And I’m already up, so I might as well listen.”

 

_ Okay, he still wants to hear what I’m gonna say, maybe- _ no. Crutchie had been slaving over finding a way to say this for weeks. He couldn’t just let his courage just ditch him now.

 

“Okay.” Crutchie took a deep breath in and released it. He tried gathering up as much bravery as he could find. His mind drifted briefly back to the Refuge an going on strike and everything that had happened in that era of his life- yeah, that had all been terrifying, but this was a new breed of nerve-wracking.

 

“So y’know that way you look at girls?” Crutchie winced he second the words came out of his mouth. What an awkward start to his confession. He couldn’t stop, though, could he? He had to finish what he’d started, and Crutchie wasn’t one to back down. “They’re so pretty and everything about them just makes you happy? And you just wanna take them up to your penthouse in the sky and kiss ‘em in front of the sunset? Well, I…” _ Don’t stop now, you can do it, you can do it. _ “I feel like that a lot, but it’s… it’s for boys?”

 

He expected Jack to yell at him- he truly did. He expected Jack to yell that Crutchie was wrong and gross and shouldn’t be feeling that way. Oh well, he’d had a nice eight years in the penthouse.

 

But that wasn’t what happened.

 

Instead, Jack’s gaze softened, and he leaned forward, wrapping Crutchie in a hug so tight Crutchie swore he was getting all his oxygen squeezed out of him.

 

“Oh, Crutchie,” Jack mumbled. He pressed his face into Crutchie’s shoulder, causing his voice to muffle. “Me too. Me too.”

 

Wait- what?

 

It took a moment for Crutchie to register what his friend was saying.

 

Jack- he liked boys too?

 

Impossible. It was impossible.

 

“But you loved Katherine,” Crutchie whispered. “You said you broke up with her just ‘cuz you was better off as friends. Not ‘cuz you liked guys.”

 

Jack pulled out of the embrace. He shot a sheepish smile at Crutchie and then shrugged. “Guess I like both.”

 

“But is that... even a thing?”

 

“It is now.”

 

_ Amazing.  _ “God, Jack.” Crutchie couldn’t help himself but to let out a genuine laugh. “I can’t believe it. Someone like me- livin’ right here in my own penthouse. It’s impossible.”

 

“Could say the same for you, Crutch. You’s impossible.”

 

“No, I ain’t impossible. I’s right here.”

 

Jack then took both of Crutchie’s hands in his in a gesture so cliche and romantic Crutchie thought he’d melt into a puddle of goo right there. That’d be a headline- ‘Crippled Newsboy Melts Because of His Own Homosexuality.”  That’d definitely sell, wouldn’t it? 

 

“You wanna hear something impossible?” Jack’s voice broke Crutchie out his trance and forced him back into his beautiful reality. For once Crutchie realized, his reality was better than his dream! What a miracle this was.

 

“Ye-yeah? What?” 

 

Jack’s smile grew almost flirtatious. “What if I told you that you’s the reason I realized I liked boys in the first place?”

 

Crutchie’s face paled. “What?”

 

“I ain’t kiddin’.” Jack shrugged. “Believe me. Your smile ain’t only turning the ladies’ heads.” That was when he winked- he  _ winked. _ Crutchie was astounded he hadn’t either melted or exploded yet. He checked- he was still in one piece. Phew.

 

“If you wanna hear somethin’ crazier,” Crutchie replied, his voice shaking nervously. “You too. I-I like you too, Jack. If it’s really true you like me.”

 

“I wouldn’t lie to my best friend,” Jack pointed out. “Here, I’ll prove it… this okay? I know it’s all goin’ fast.” He reached his hand up to Crutchie’s cheek and smoothed his thumb over the soft skin. Just like Crutchie had watched Jack do to Katherine dozens of times.

 

“It’s fine,” Crutchie answered breathlessly.

 

Jack gave a curt nod and tilted his head slightly, moving forward to connect their lips together. It didn’t last long.

 

And oh, boy, was Crutchie a bad kisser.

 

“I, uh. I apologize.” Crutchie was beet red when he pulled away, a sheepish grin spread across his face. “Friendly reminder I’s never kissed nobody.” He hoped Jack didn't mind, but Jack seemed just as lost in euphoria as Crutchie did, so Crutchie didn’t bother worrying.

 

“It’s fine, if it means I get to practice with you more.” Jack smirked, pressing a brief kiss to Crutchie’s forehead as a sort of compromise. “Not to rain on your parade, but now that we’ve got the whole feelings thing sorted out, what do you say we hit the hay?”

 

Crutchie shrugged. “That’s fine. Learnin’ you and your best friend are in love in pretty tiring anyway. I mean, I’ll go to sleep ‘long as I get to stay on this side if the roof with you, obviously.”

 

Jack rolled his eyes. “Duh. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t want to just wrap you up in my arms all night?"

 

Crutchie just stared at Jack for a moment, dumbfounded.  _ Boyfriend! He’s my boyfriend! _ “That sounds… good. Very good.”

 

“Then it’s settled, Crutch.”

 

And when the bell rang the next morning, meeting two sleepy boys entangled in each others’ embrace, Jack Kelly realized that New York was truly all he’d ever need.

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked it,,, or hated it,,, leave a comment! i need self-validation please


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